Crazed Wanderer
by Frontier Productions
Summary: /-Warning: Vulgar Language-\ Ok... look at the title... look at it again... see what it says? yes? than that's all you need to know.
1. Chapter 1

_**/-WARNING: Vulgar language WILL be present-\**_

_**A/N: Alrighty, ummm, yeah, this has a parody of the song 'Move Bitch' and is the POV of Sarah Lyons ….ENJOY!**_

'God, this is why I hate DC' Sarah Lyons thought as she was hiding behind a wall trying not to be seen by the super mutants who were right across the opening of the metro tunnel. As she was straining her ears to try to hear the super mutants that might be trying to sneak up on them, 'If any of them are that smart' Instead of hearing super mutants, however, she heard someone humming a tune and footsteps.

"I WILL RIP YOUR FACE OFF!" A super mutant shouted but before Sarah could do anything she heard the sound of a Frag Grenade exploding. 'The fuck?' the humming soon returned followed by a male voice that said,

"Oh, lookey here, .32 rounds, Hunting Rifle parts, and Mole Rat Meat. Well… I found dinner" Sarah was amazed that any person, even raiders, would be so loud in the middle of DC. Walking out from behind the wall she turned to where the voice came from to see a figure in an armored blue jumpsuit with a blue beret, blue facemask, black gloves with studs on the knuckles, and sunglasses over his eyes. In front of him was a black pack that had what looked like a Sniper Rifle disassembled into two parts attached to one side while two Frag Mines and a couple grenades were on the other side. Sarah took one step forwards but as soon as her foot hit the ground the figure instantly rolled behind a piece of debris and than popped up with a Hunting Rifle raised. Sarah was surprised at the speed of his reaction and the fact that he could hear her in the first place. Upon closer look Sarah could see that he had a 10mm Pistol holstered on his right thigh and a Sawed-Off Shotgun on his left hip configured so that it could be cross-drawn directly by his right hand.

"Wait… your those Brotherhood people I've heard so much about right?" asked the strange man who just gets stranger, and a bit scarier, each second. Snapping out of her thoughts Sarah replied,

"Yeah, that we are"

"Cool" he responded as he lowered his rifle and than, much to Sarah's surprise, he actually crouched down and did a backwards roll across the ground back to his pack. The strange man than finished packing his loot before he closed the pack and than put it on. Afterwards he walked around the metro tunnel to Sarah and she could see that on the right strap of the pack there was a sheathed knife that could be unsheathed downwards and that on the other strap were two grenades. The pack also had a chest strap that would hold it there in case he had to move fast. Soon the man was in front of her and Sarah could see that on the collar of the gold-trimmed blue jumpsuit was a gold '101'. This number was also on the front of the beret and on the top of the facemask on the right cheek.

"So… you guys know where GNR is?" he asked

"Uh, yeah, we're headed there to reinforce our brothers who are getting attacked by super mutants" Sarah responded.

"Cool, my name's Allan by the way" he said as he extended his left hand for a handshake, since his other hand was ready to pull the trigger in a moments notice.

"I'm Sarah" she said as she shook his hand.

"Mam, are we gonna assault the school?" Paladin Vargas asked as he came around the corner but than he spotted Allan and asked,

"Who's he?"

"He's just coming with us to GNR" Sarah said as she started walking back to the hideout while waving for Allan to follow her. Soon they were at Colvin and than Sarah was really surprised when she turned around to see Allan scavenging her dead brother's Energy Cells.

"Hey, we respect our deceased!" Initiate Reddin yelled out as she came… mask-to-helmet with Allan. Allan than smiled and bent down and plucked something from the brother's neck and than stood back up, still smiling, while letting the brother's holotag dangle from his hand.

"Apparently not," Reddin grunted in disgust but Vargas quickly snatched the tags and than Allan continued, "besides.. I need caps to survive and these bring in a good amount of said caps" Reddin looked like she was about to blow but at that moment Vargas jumped in,

"Reddin, leave him alone, we have to take the school" Allan than started to laugh manically.

"Why are you laughing?" Colvin asked, just now joining the conversation. In response, Allan just kept laughing but also pulled out a grenade in his left hand. Than, just as suddenly he stopped laughing and had an air of sadness about him. He than put back the grenade and leaned his Hunting Rifle against the wall. He than started to access a Pip-Boy that was on his wrist. He started whispering to himself saying, "No…" "Not now" "Nah" but finally ended with, "Fuck yeah." Hitting a button, music started spilling from the small device's speakers. It sounded like the 'rock' music that was starting to come into style before the Great War.

"The fuck is that shit?" Reddin asked. Allan picked up his Hunting Rifle and pulled out the grenade again before saying,

"It's called 'Monster' by Skillet" Sarah had to admit by from what she heard, the song fit the wasteland. However, Allan started to laugh manically again and than, to add to the team's surprise and confusion, he charged straight out of the hidey-hole and directly towards the super mutant infested school, laughing like a madman.

"FRESH MEAT" a super mutant yelled as two ran out the doorway and one appeared in the upper-floor window. Allan just kept on laughing as he pulled the pin and threw the grenade between the two ground floor mutants, blowing off their legs and arms. He than raised his rifle and fired three rounds, killing the mutant. Allan than raised the rifle over his head and down to behind his back and slid it into a hidden pocket on his pack before he drew out his 10mm Pistol and unsheathed his knife before charging straight inside, still laughing insanely.

"Uhhh…" Sarah couldn't think of anything to say at the man's actions.

"That guy is…. AWESOME!" Reddin shouted,

"He's unique, anyways, shouldn't we help him?" Colvin said, snapping Sarah out of her thoughts,

"Yeah, Lyon's Pride, advance!" she yelled before charging at the school with the pride behind her. When she entered the school a super mutant jumped out of a classroom door in front of her but before anyone could do anything Allan appeared out of nowhere, but apparently jumping from the upper walkway, and landed on the mutants back started repeatedly stabbing the mutant in the head and neck, still laughing insanely. Once the mutant stopped screaming Allan hopped off his back and than charged towards the GNR Plaza where more gunfire could be heard. All that Sarah heard was the singer of the song scream,

"I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER!" well that and his laughing. As Lyon's Pride moved through the school, all they were met with were the dead bodies of the super mutants. Than once they got to the Plaza all they saw was Allan standing next to the statue covered in mutant blood and that all of the Brotherhood personal were pointing there weapons at them. Some of the soldiers you could smell their fear. The song had apparently ended since the speakers were silent and Allan had finally stopped laughing. His weapons were put away and he kneeled down next to a Knight who's dead body fell on the fence and picked up, much to the Pride's dismay, a Fat Man that the Knight had. He than turned to the Pride and yelled out,

"Yo! Sarah, the fuck is this?"

"Uh… that's called a Fat Man and it, uhhh… fires Mini Nukes" Sarah replied uncertainly,

"No shit?" he asked and than he bent down again and picked up a pack that looked to have four of the Mini Nukes in it, 'shit' she thought, "You mean these?" he asked as he jingled the bag like it was just full of rocks.

"Yes, don't shake the bag!" Sarah shouted and before Allan could respond they all heard the ground shaking and than a Knight shouted,

"Behemoth!" Sarah looked at where he pointed to and than back to Allan to see, expectantly, that he was loading the Fat Man and than hefted it onto his shoulder with a unseen insane smile on his face. Suddenly the Behemoth came charging into the Plaza, destroying the few cars and bus blocking the way. Before Sarah could say 'Attack' she heard Allan start laughing before he yelled,

"Knock, Knock!" and than she saw a Mini Nuke fly from the Fat Man and soar through the air into the Behemoth's face, instantly killing it. Sarah lowered her rifle and wondered to herself how this day could get any weirder. But than….

"BOOM BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY! GET OUT THE WAY BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Everyone was staring at Allan after that and than he asked,

"Hey, can I keep this?"

"NO!" shouted all of the Brotherhood guys at once. He set down the Fat Man and than held up the Mini Nukes again,

"Can I keep these?"

"They're useless without the Fat Man" Vargas whispered to Sarah who than nodded and said,

"Go for it"

"Sweeeeet!"

**Two Months Later**

On the cliffs of Evergreen Mills a strange black object was advancing to the cliff. The figure had on black combat armor, not a Talon's armor, a black beret, and a black facemask. The area around his eyes was also painted black to fit the color and on his hands were black gloves with studs on the knuckles. The figure crouched down at the edge and pulled out a strange looking tube and a hook that was attached to a rope. The figure than stabbed the hook into the rock and than put the tube on his shoulder and pulled a trigger, causing a harpoon like object to shoot out and attach to the roof of the Mill's main building. The man than took a bent wire hangar out and put it on the rope and than jumped off the edge. He slid down to the roof and once he was there he took another rope and attached a hook to the first rope and dropped the rest to the ground. The man than slid down the rope to the front of the building, right next to the door, and than he dropped his pack he had on, hiding behind a piece of rubble. He than slid back up the ropes to the cliff, taking the ropes with him. He than casually walked away from the Mills and once he was about half a mile away he stopped and turned around. Reaching into a pouch he pulled out what looked to be an average looking pen. He than flipped up the top of the pen to show a red button and than, with only a slight pause to let a short manic laugh escape he pressed the button. The scene that devastated the wasteland for miles around was that of a mushroom cloud rising up from Evergreen Mills and the shockwave that followed knocked down trees and damaged shacks. The figure laughed some more and than turned around and started to walk off into the wasteland. On the front of the man's beret, colored in grey, were the numbers…

101

_**A/N: Hehehehehehe! To clarify things… I KNOW THERE AREN'T ANY FACEMASKS AND BERETS AND ALL THAT IN FALLOUT 3! AND…. I DON'T CARE! GET OVER IT! I THINK IT HELPED WITH THE STORY! Anyways… ahem… hope you injured it. Please leave me a review of what you thought about the 'Crazed Wanderer'**_

_**ΦThe RescuerΦ**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: THE CRAZED WANDERER IS BACK BABY! Welcome to the next crazy story of Allan, the psychotic wanderer. This one is a bit short... sorry. ENJOY!**_

At an Enclave field base in the middle of the Capital Wasteland, two soldiers were talking to each other.

"Dude, I heard that the Wanderer can hit you with a 10mm in the head from over 100 yards away... and that he can pierce Power Armor with a 10mm bullet." said one of the soldiers. The other one scoffed,

"That's bullshit Paul. No one is that good" he replied.

"Steve, I'm dead serious. It happened to Jim last week... and Bob a week before" Paul said, trying to convince his partner. He than pointed at one of the four photo-sensors, "Right through the lens" he added with a bit of dread in his voice.

"Paul. I'm telling you. The veterans just want to scare us newbies. Get over it... no one is that good with a pistol to shoot someone through a photo-sensor lens from 100 yards with a 10mm" Steve argued.

A ping than sounded from Paul's helmet and a dent appeared. One of Steve's photo-sensors than erupted into shards of glass as the object passed through it, into his head. Paul stood there for a couple seconds before the dent exploded inward and a dent protruded outward from the other side of the helmet.

The bodies laid there for a couple seconds undisturbed before a white man walked up. All the man wore was a pair of heart boxers and boots. In his right hand was a smoking 10mm pistol. He looked down at Paul's dead body.

"Damn ricochet..." he said simply as he turned his attention to Steve's corpse. "How come it always goes through the glowy eyes?" he asked himself. He than shrugged and put the pistol in the belt line of his boxers. Turning, he than started walking down the road, whistling 'California Girls' to himself as he walked.

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this short story of the CRAZED WANDERER.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Welcome to another thing of the Crazed Wanderer.**_

Allan was sitting at the desk in his room on the top floor of his house, writing in a notebook. For once he was acting somewhat sane. He was writing about his encounters in the wastes. He wore a Pre-War bath robe with the belt tied in the front. On the desk he had a switchblade while leaned against the wall next to him was an unloaded Sniper Rifle with a three boxes of .308 under his bed. There was knocking at his door so Allan stood up and walked down the stairs, sighing. He liked the moments where he was somewhat sane, it seemed so... calm. He passed by Wadsworth, who was on standby, and approached the door. The knocking hadn't occurred again, which was somewhat weird. Usually the citizens continued banging on the door while also yelling insults and threats.

When he reached the door he eased it open and took a couple steps outside,

to be met with five Talon Mercs aiming Assault Rifles and Shotguns at him. The lead Merc had a smirk on his face,

"We finally caught your ass Allan" he seethed. Allan looked behind him at his rear before looking back at the Merc,

"My ass is still here actually, see" he said, turning slightly and pointing at it. One of the Mercs chuckled, the lead one sending a glare his way.

"Well, prepare to kiss it goodbye" the lead Merc said as he tightened his grip on his rifle. Allan looked around and saw that one of the Mercs on the hit team was a very attractive blonde.

"I don't know about my ass but I'd like to kiss her goodbye" he said, pointing at the female. The Merc blushed slightly and batted her eyes but steeled up under the glares of her comrades. Allan shrugged before he started to untie his robe. Again the blonde blushed but kept a steely outlook none-the-less. The other Talons had confused looks but didn't make any move to act. He let the robe drop to reveal Recon Armor underneath the robe.

"The fuck?" one of the Talons asked as Allan flicked his wrists, a blade popping out from above each of his wrists. The armor was a black color with pink trim. The blades extended well beyond his fists. One of the Talons laughed,

"His armor is pink!" he said loudly as he pointed and laughed. It was the last thing he did as Allan literally disappeared before reappearing behind the Talon, one of the wrist blades stabbed straight through the back of his head, exiting through his right eye. Allan chuckled,

"Your missing an eye!" he said mockingly before he yanked the blade out. As the body dropped Allan snatched the guy's Chinese Assault Rifle out of his hand and sprayed at the two other male lackeys, the rounds stitching along their bodies. The two corpses fell to the ground before the other two could react.

"Holy shit!" the leader screamed as he swung his weapon around and fired. The buckshot met empty air as Allan had already moved behind the leader.

"Boo" Allan said as he kicked the leader in the back. He went stumbling forward and Allan moved to he blonde and as gently as he could, knocked the weapon out of her hands. He than withdrew his blades grabbed her hands, spun her around, and than brought her close to him, their bodies touching. He dipped her down tango style before bringing her back up and squeezed her ass. He also planted a kiss, driving his tongue down her throat. When he drew back he smiled,

"I'll be back for you, later" he said before letting go of the blonde, who seemed to have been lost on his touch. She just nodded as she looked at him dreamily. Allan smirked before charging at the lead Talon, who was back on his feet. He snapped out the blades again and drove them into the man's body, one in his throat and one into his abdomen. Lifting the man up he carried him to the edge and tossed him over, watching as he fell to the ground with a splat. Some citizens saw the body drop and looked at it confused. They than looked up and, upon seeing Allan, sighed and carried on with their tasks.

Allan smirked as he withdrew the blades and re-approached the blonde. Picking up the woman in a fireman carry he took her inside with a smile on his face.

* * *

The next morning the Talon bodies had been cleaned up and the citizens started waking up to carry out their tasks. Stockholm walked up to Lucas Simms with a grim look.

"Stockholm, what is it?" Lucas asked of him, still a bit tired.

"Allan left last night. He had a shit load of supplies and a weird smile, I didn't like it. The Talon girl that was with the hit team was nowhere to be seen either" he explained. Lucas frowned,

"The hell is he doing..." he wondered out loud.

Before anyone could respond the Megaton residence of the Lone Wanderer burst into a humongous fireball. The pieces of scrap metal flew off everywhere and Lucas and Stockholm, along with everyone else, ducked from the explosion. A body than dropped from the wire that ran above the city. The body snapped to a stop, the bones in the neck breaking with an audible cracking. With the body still it was obvious who it was.

There, hanging by a noose, was the blonde Talon. She was stripped of all clothing, leaving her exposed to the view of the town's people. She had an everlasting smile on her face and a nice red hole in the middle of her forehead. Blood had stained her inner thighs, making it obvious what Allan had done to her before he shot her. Lucas cursed and ordered for someone to get the body down. Lucas than turned to Stockholm, a deep frown on his face,

"Kill him if you see him" he said simply as he looked back at the body. Stockholm nodded before he ran back to his post.

* * *

Allan was on the Scenic Overlook, resting his Sniper Rifle's barrel on a rock. He was aiming the deadly weapon at Stockholm's post. He was still wearing his customized Recon Armor but now he had the helmet on as well. The helmet was black with the same pink trim but it had a ceramic faceplate attached that covered his nose and mouth. On his back he had on a large pack with some of his gear. The rest of his gear was stowed at one of his several hideouts that he had throughout the wasteland. Once he was done here, he would head for it and stay there from now on. He had seen the explosion and smirked. The body of the beautiful merc should have dropped from the wire by now. He had to admit that the merc was lovely, both in looks and in bed, but he wasn't willing to take the risks of a traveling companion. He didn't want another mouth to feed, person to take care of, and the fact that she was Talon meant she would be untrustworthy.

Focusing back on the post he saw Stockholm take his position. He knew that Lucas probably ordered a death sentence on him, so he decided to send a little warning. Taking a deep breath he let the cross hair steady before pulling the trigger. The rifle bucked back as the bullet left the barrel and sped towards it's target. After a couple seconds the bullet met resistance and Stockholm fell onto the walkway, a nice hole punched through his thigh. Allan could hear the man's screaming and not two seconds later a citizen ran up and dragged Stockholm out of sight. Allan stood up and aimed his Rifle at the sky with his right hand while mock-saluting with his left. He than held the Rifle at his waist.

"Little low..." he said evilly as he smirked and turned to start the long trip to his hideout.


End file.
